The Guilt

I often read my friends' Facebook statuses that describe their angst of balancing work and home life with children, and I confess that those same discussions run through my mind all the time. I've read articles on other moms who had to choose for their sanity - stay at home full time, or split their selves between work and kids. Believe me, I truly love my children and family and wouldn't change it for a second. But I do wonder if it would be a bit simpler if I decided to be a full-time S.A.H.M. (stay @ home mama). There's something fulfilling about coming in each day to the office to tackle projects, work within tight timelines and produce something - whether written or otherwise - that you can be proud of. I get joy out of sharing camaraderie with a group of extremely talented professionals, and lending a hand or ear for other colleagues. However, I'll readily admit that when the day is done, I am also absolutely thrilled to pick up my two grimy, yet extremely happy children. I think I get solace in knowing that they absolutely love their school and they are well cared for by a group of individuals who share love and friendship like none I have ever seen. But despite all of the great things of work and home life, I cannot help but feel that I'm missing out on my kids growing up without me there, every single moment of each day. Could I survive if I made that switch? I know some of my friends have done it and are doing great. I just don't know if I'm built quite that way. I guess the Catholic in me has the guilt already built in - but maybe that's just what I need to cherish the moments that I do have with my little ones.